The champagne of sodas

One of the perks of working at a grocery store is that you occasionally get to take home the expired products that can no longer wait on the shelves for a customer to buy them. This is why I was the recipient of four cans (yes, cans) of sparkling wine.

My coworker told me that they were “slightly out of date,” which I later realized actually meant they expired a year ago. But who am I to turn down free booze? And furthermore, doesn’t wine get better with age, not go bad?

Moreover, the fact that this champagne-esque substance was canned up like a Red Bull was intriguing. It even came with a little straw (like a juice box!) that another coworker pointed out was its best feature because it meant he could drink it on the bus like and pretend it’s a soda.

A mass transit-friendly sparkling wine! What a concept. These “Sofia Mini Blanc de Blancs” (Red Bull has a much better ring to it, don’t you think?) come from Francis Coppola’s winery, and if the man can make the Godfather, then the man can make sparkling wine, right? So my boyfriend and I cracked a couple last night to test them out.

I’m no wine expert, that’s for sure, but the quality of this psuedo-champagne was semi-decent. Certainly not award-winning, but not horrible either. I would hesitate to say that I would ever pay for it, but it was dry without making me cringe, and that’s generally my criteria for whether or not I like a champagne.

I found a website that features this ridiculous stuff. There, they describe the Sofia Mini Blanc de Blancs as “A distinctive blend as unconventional as the woman who inspired it, Mini is for the impromptu, impetuous, live passionately for the moment kind of person. The kind of person who lives like there is no tomorrow!”

Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t you think someone who lives like there’s no tomorrow would splurge on a nice bottle of actual champagne?

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